People ask me stuff and then probably secretly regret it quite quickly when they are then ushered into my brain and thought process… a place where there are very few filters. This is how this conversation went when they asked “what do you do when some problems are just too big? How do we heal them?”

In my mind, I’m in an ancient wood.

There are gnarly old trees and stones and boulders lying in and on the ground… the trees are more for decorations, and the stones are the main players.

Some will be half-buried and covered in moss, probably with their little ecosystem growing from them, others will look like discarded pebbles scattered about the place.

This is the detritus of my emotional process.

The larger rocks/boulders are the big stuff that has yet to be dealt with; now these could have been lying around for years, banked and sure up with excuses and stories about why they haven’t been looked at. They are built on top of whatever lack of control or limiting belief we’ve fed into them over time.

They’ve likely become problematic, an obstruction. Something that has to be navigated around and negotiated with rather than sorted out fully.

Sometimes an interesting thing to do is climb on top of it to see what the high ground actually looks like. And then maybe sit there for a while to remind ourselves what that perspective feels like. This can occasionally prompt us to start chipping away at it but that can seem futile because of the magnitude.

I mean there will be plenty of evidence to ensure that you’re never going to overcome whatever this big old problem is right… hmmmm enter a bit of self-care and love.

We can prove to ourselves that gazing up at a problem can be as daunting as looking down at it so how about arming yourself with some tools or techniques that let you square up to it?

Firstly we need to determine what it’s made from… Granite, that’s a tough one. Sandstone,is probably easier to work with… oooor Chalk, even easier.

Then we have to decide what tools we’ll need; talk therapy, EFT, Yoga, Art therapy, Walks in nature with friends we can trust, CBT, Reiki.

All of these are levers that can be used to start to upend and move this object from our wood. Taking time and energy to gently roll it away so that it’s no longer an obstacle. Then the real work starts because where the stone has been there’s a blimmin’ great wound in the earth that needs to be healed.

That’s when we need to lean heavily on that toolbox and that’s when we ask for help again, because it’s not easy to get over things completely on our own, we need support.

We need help to heal the wounds that are left so they don’t leave too much of a scar.

And all the time we’re doing this work for ourselves I truly believe that we’re doing it for the people around us too. So they can be lead through their wood knowing that they don’t have to turn and roll those stones on their own. We can use our experiences to help others heal… Our family, our friends and most of all our children. 

Because as much as we want to protect them and take away all the hurts and disappointments they will have to upend their own boulders at some point, and our healing is their inspiration.

So don’t be too scared to heal, my loves!

P.S.: if you’re gonna ask me a question, make sure there’s plenty of cake and tea.